A Stoic’s way to Self-Acceptance: Why it’s Okay to be Different
Life is an art of pretending to be normal and we “humans” being the smartest species on earth, have our version of crazy in us. Some feel secure when they are in groups or crowd. While others usually feel happy when they are left alone, because some people make their best memories in solitude.
To be different is like breaking the norm. The society bestows you with the tag of being a “rebel” those who live their life on the edge. If you believe you are a loner, an introvert, a wild-child or a miss-fit. Just feel proud to be one, because you’ll never be contented with the things that aren’t meant for you.
“First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.” ― Epictetus, Greek Stoic Philosopher
But first, tame your thoughts!
The biggest betrayal a human can do to himself is to― make his mind believe that he has lost his calm. And the worst thing that you can do to yourself is― to act like a victim when you can be a warrior. Don’t be controlled by your thoughts, let your inner strength allow you to be completely free.
In the words of Roman Emperor and Stoic Philosopher, Marcus Aurelius― “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.
Being real is sometimes an act of rebellion:
If you are an ambitious person having their goals aligned then it’s great, if having luxury is your ultimate goal or if you are someone― who wants to live a simple life without a hint of luxury, then it’s wonderful.
Those who aspire to have enough, often end up with having nothing. Such people live superficial lives as there remains an awful hole that eats them inside.
So be real and do things that make you happy rather than pleasing or fulfilling the goals of others. No matter how much you please others, most people are only capable of judging and talking ill about others.
Work in Silence, let others blow their own trumpets:
If you aren’t a part of this game, then you might have a hard time dealing with the harsh reality of life. People will intervene― they will question your choices; they will bombard you with all kinds of beliefs. They might even persuade you to become just like them. Don’t fall into the trap. Stay raw, stay real because that makes you beautiful!
“Being gifted means facing the next level of depth without ever being repulsed by the curse, that comes with the magic of being different.” ― Curtis Tyrone Jones
We aren’t running in a marathon, so slow down when you run out of breath:
We aren’t a part of a race, nor we are running in a marathon― that we have to have an eye on the winning trophy. Keep it cool. Don’t let the rat-race interfere with your peace.
Once you lose your calm, you’ll understand that nothing is more important than your mental health. If you need time to bounce back to life― take time; take enough time to realise which way to go.
Pave your own road, make your own life choices:
If you have a plan work on it, if not ponder deeply on what brings content to your heart. Once you find it, start working on it. If you find it difficult to maintain the pace, take baby steps and work on your dream. Just don’t give up too soon.
Remember the times, you gave up waiting for someone and the same person arrived, when you decided to leave. The happens in real life too, so be patient and take one step at a time. Your efforts won’t go in vain.
“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” ― Seneca, Roman Stoic Philosopher
Be a stoic and ignore what others say:
Not everybody has the same set of goals, likes, dislikes. So rather than hating the job or finding yourself trapped in a certain position. Do what you do the best and make it your purpose.
Just make peace with your mind because not every person has the same vision towards life. Therefore, what’s luxury for you may be absurd to others. Similarly, finding happiness in the simplest things may not be someone else’s cup of tea. You need to understand that and value everybody’s choices.
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” ― Epictetus
If you are here on this earth, you are special, you will be loved:
Don’t force someone to like what you like as they might start hating you. So instead of trying to change others just cherish their uniqueness. We, humans, are complex creatures. But the fact is there are people like us, who think like us and have similar stories to tell. Think of any random personality and it exists, not in a parallel universe but in this.
Find your own light:
Remember that, nobody is alone, one chooses to be alone. If you choose to be alone and you enjoy it then it’s perfectly fine. If 20 people like being in a group and you find happiness in solitude, then chase solitude.
Don’t force yourself to move in a similar direction. As it can create utter chaos and you might end up hating both.
Work on yourself to heal your wounds:
But if you choose to stay aloof because of the scars you have, then take time― until you feel it’s the right time to share your story. Sharing may not heal the pain. But it will surely lift the burden off your shoulders.
Take the placebo pills of trust and faith once a day. If you find it difficult to trust people, then watch and observe. The right person will fight his/her demons to be with you. You two can nurture together and create your own little universe.
“Non est ad astra mollis e terris via” – “There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.”
You aren’t worthless because there is no one who could play your role better:
Remember that nobody can fill your place once you are gone. If you think that nobody loves you then think of your pet, who looks at you with awe. Or think of the courage that you muster each day to keep your fragile self alive.
One day, the scars will be gone and the time you took to build yourself will pay off well. Until then keep hustling, it’s a long way to go― keep your game strong. So cherish your individuality and take pride in being different as normalcy is just so boring.
Let thy spirit be high in love. Namaste