The concept of friendship is taken so loosely that many people think of it as a tag which can be given to anybody, they meet in their life’s journey. There are acquaintances we meet down the road and if he/she comes aboard and sits in our boat we think of acknowledging them. Hence, we bestow upon them the title of friends. There’s a saying that two people make friends and three a “crowd”.
The thought behind this is when you have someone who knows you on a deeper level. He/she will tickle your mind so you both can talk about things that matter. About life, about the universe, about things that you two can discuss freely, without hesitating as it won’t offend the other person.
Depth is what they Search for:
Instead of making 10 people understand and appreciate your personality. You can have a few close friends in life, who know the depth of your mind and heart. This bond is free from selfishness, where people seek benefits only then they consider you as your friend.
It is more sort of a ‘give’ and ‘take’ relationship, rather than friendship. You do this for me and I’ll do that. While people who value you, will look beyond this.
They will help you, offer emotional and mental support not because they are deemed to do so as a friend. Solely because they value your existence and no tag or ship needs to define that. They like you for no reason and feel blessed to have you in their life. Even if you are nothing like them.
They look Beyond the Lines:
To build a strong yet powerful circle, you don’t necessarily have to look for Xerox copies of yours. The course of time will tell you, those who are meant to be in your life forever.
When you’ll meet them, their inner personality will shine bright, which will radiate even when they are not ready to bare open. Their honesty will speak volumes that words will fall short to explain.
How the Circle forms:
Since childhood, we have been told that friends are some sort of aliens that we meet in school, in outer space and in playgrounds or in the four walls of institutions. That isn’t the case for those who build lifelong relationships.
Your mum, your dad, sister, cousin, that kid who lives next to your house can be a part of your small circle. If they help you in your spiritual growth, in teaching lessons that would be impossible in the company of those- who take refuge in crowds.
The blue, red and Grey shades of Personality are accepted here:
It takes years of efforts and understanding to maintain a healthy relationship with an old friend. Because you don’t want to ruin the sacred bond, that you two have created together.
Because if you are observant– a thinking creature and you know someone from a long time. You probably know the blue, the red and grey shades of their personality. You specifically remember things from childhood, adulthood and the times when you hit rock bottom.
The memories aren’t blurred in your head space. But they are as clear as the shadow, that creates when you walk alone on a lonely street, at night. You can count on your fingertips, the times they said no when you wanted to do something.
They handle their Demons well:
The times, they said something behind your back that bruised your heart. And the times when they weren’t there for you- when you needed them the most.
Most importantly, the times when you were struggling to escape from your ghastly space to usher love. To secure the loose thread that was dangling in the air. In order to make the person believe, you two are still together.
But they disregarded your intention, questioned your presence. Many such events, will make you question whether the person you are with is worth keeping? The answer will always be Yes! Why so? Why would you want a person, who never offered much support to you, on being friends for long? Because that same person must have faced some issues from your side.
Perfection is an Illusion:
Nobody is pitch perfect and you shouldn’t aspire to become one. We all are great, the way we are, that’s what makes us unique. Otherwise, we’d be similar to robots manufactured in Japan. Who have the same predominant features but with different serial numbers.
The same questions you are facing today must have at some point in time arise in their minds. But they still have you in life. They give you the liberty to be free from their clutches, wherein one feels trapped.
They don’t like to be Chained:
Calling and texting someone often doesn’t make you close companions. It just showcases the fact, that you two are too much involved in each other’s lives. One can be great friends with bare minimal touch. Since the person gives you the liberty to fly freely and explore other areas.
It helps you to find answers to your problems on your own, build your own insight on things and matter that linger in your mind, every now and then. You are not bound to any obligation because you two are mature individuals, who understand the meaning of life and the importance of people.
They aspire to Learn from their own Experiences:
People who stay in packs all the time or around popular people with big egos never learn much in life. The reason being that they don’t have enough experiences in life. Having a few friends in life means they will wander to different places and you’ll have to stay alone at some point in life.
This is the time, you’ll learn survival skills, how to stay alone and emerge as stronger. How to deal with different people, how to look beyond the lines. Who to allow to enter in your life and whom not. When to say goodbye and when to call them back.
Life will amuse you at every step. Sometimes you’ll encounter people who are good, sometimes bad and sometimes treacherous than Brutus from Julius Caesar. If you remember the line, “Et tu Brute?”, you probably understood the emotions behind this expression. It is self-explanatory.
Mistakes or Lessons, they are up for it:
Every mistake and every individual will teach you a lesson. Next time, you’ll know how much distance to keep from a person, what to share and what not. You’ll allow the other person to know things that you want to.
Because you know he/she can take advantage of you since you don’t march in an army but alone. If you are someone who has depth, then there are great chances of you will carefully understand people’s psychology and their behavioural patterns. Who wants what from you and who is there with you, without any motive.
No room for Drama:
You’ll be free from the heavy dose of drama that takes place in large groups when you enter into a relationship. The more the people, the more opinions about a person and the more melodramatic sequences that take place. Each person has a distinctive personality and what is tasteful to you can be distasteful to others.
It is likely that one or two friends will never approve of your choice or will not like the person you are with, because of some valid or invalid reasons. But does that stop us from loving the person we are in awe of? No. We will still pursue them because they appeal to us.
This creates a rift between friends because you are stuck between love and friendship. Few friends act as a fuel and they flame the fire so they can laugh on it later. However, in close knits, people don’t expect you to share the nitty-gritty details of your love life.
The circle might be Small but it will always be Colourful:
There is nothing wrong with having a small yet powerful circle. The plus side is there will be immense peace and solitude, which will give you enough time to dwell in thoughts. You can always initiate deep dark conversation with your small circle or for the matter of fact- an individual. Because they too are fed up of opinions that are easy to form.
They won’t judge you, neither will they hush you. You can speak and your voice won’t be suppressed by someone’s ego and resistance to accept the truth. People with diverse personalities will make that circle vibrant. They will challenge your intellect and will help plant new thoughts in your mind.
The fruits of which will be borne by the coming generations, because you will impart your learning with them. And will set them free to frame their own thoughts. Away from the dogma and beliefs of others. One must go on a spiritual and mental quest to look for the answers. The truth lies within; explore and evolve.
Let thy spirit be high in love. Namaste