I have shed my skin many times, and each time I do that, I return back to my former self. Knowing that this is how I enjoy living, this is me in the truest form, and no other version of me exists in this world.
I can fake smile, form temporary friendships that I know I will not carry on. And even though I enjoy human interaction, but there are some shortcomings to it. Hence the addiction to solitude.
If you’d like me to tag myself, I would rather say that I am an introverted loner. Although I am not fond of titles, but this is the closest I can get, if I put myself into a box.
To understand why some people enjoy being alone, and make it their lifestyle. Here I’ll discuss why one chooses to be a lone wolf in a society that chases groups.
Don’t miss this: What makes Loner a “Lone Wolf”
I will start from Scratch how one becomes a Lone Wolf:
When a child learns how things operate in the world. The kind of experiences he/she shares within the household, and outside. He gets to know more about himself based on those experiences and the relationships he forms with people around.
For example, a child who reacts well to external stimulation like socialising, will think of it as a positive exchange of energy, and will look forward to it.
Whereas, a child who reacts well to internal stimulation like spending time alone. Or engaging in creative activities with little to no interference of an external source of energy or body, will find that exchange as positive and energising.
When such a child with a different need exposes himself to a different environment. He understands that there’s a piece missing, and that he is doing it for the sake of doing. Because his guardians told him to do so.
Since you are coaxed to make friends, as it’s a normal thing to do, and parents often tell you to be social otherwise you’ll finish alone.
Therefore, wolf pups are often pushed by their guardians to be social, since they don’t want their child to be tagged as arrogant or self-centred. But the more they expose themselves in such an environment, the more they understand why they wish to be alone.
Who is a Lone Wolf:
Many great ascetics, sages and meditation practitioners have isolated themselves to attain peace. Because with so many people and energies around, it becomes hard not to get affected by their problems, and situations, especially when you are trying to focus.
Likewise, lone wolves are modern hermits that you’ll seldom find sitting in a corner chilling out or retreating towards the woods every evening to find solitude.
If we go by famous philosophies such as stoicism, or the stoic way of living, being alone is seen as a strength. As it suggests that a person can be happy and contended without having the need to reach out to others. Or to steal their attention to feel important, happy, energised and existent.
I am quoting some lines from the motivational speech of Fearless Motivation, which I like. It goes:
The anonymous lone wolf says:
“The wolf on the top of the hill is never as hungry
As the wolf climbing the hill
It’s not easy going it alone. But if you keep going, stay true to yourself… it will be worth it in the end.
The hardest walk you can make is the walk you make alone, but that is the walk that makes you the strongest.
That is the walk that builds your character the most.
To all of you fighting battles alone. To all of you going against the grain, battling the naysayers:
Stay strong! Keep going!
Stay strong. Keep going!
This walk is hard. But the hardest walks lead to the greatest destinations.
The toughest climbs always lead to the best views!
It will be worth it in the end.
And if you show what you are made of, the right people will show up in your life.”
Check out the 10 reasons why a Person chooses to be a Lone Wolf:
If you are interested in knowing how a person becomes a lone wolf, or why someone chooses to be a Lone Wolf in a world that works well in groups, then dive below.
1. Loners have different Emotional needs and understanding of Life:
We live in a society where being alone and enjoying your own company is seen as depressing. But what if that person or child feels happy alone? and doesn’t wishes to disturb or be disturbed by other beings.
Not because he doesn’t like them. But for the simple fact that, the thought of mingling with others, and getting energized by them doesn’t work for him.
So when that child matures he understands that he doesn’t feel happy with others. And when he tries to form close-knit with others, he understands that he has emptied himself for others but nobody refills him.
When Loneliness becomes an old companion and a Guru, understand that the Lone Wolf has Awaken inside You:
Along with this bitter experiences with people and at home can also be a reason for a person to choose a loner lifestyle.
However, each one of them congregates at the same point, that is the urge for peace and solitude. And having no hard feelings for the waves of loneliness to crash by, to touch your feet. As one realises that life is more enjoyable, when you feel every emotion instead of pampering yourself and longing for bliss.
“Hello Loneliness, my old friend,” says the Loner.
When that fear of uncertainty is gone, and the mind becomes highly acceptable for different experiences and situations. One becomes a lone wolf, and loneliness doesn’t make you feel lonely. But it becomes an old companion, who keeps you grounded.
It washes away the emotions of pride, selfishness, and makes you more humane. As you understand what a blessing it is to be alive, and you respect the hustle of every being that’s alive.
You become more strong yet empathic for all. It hardens your core while softening your heart for accepting life with its grey undertones.
2. Lone wolves see people as Energies and not as Friends or Foes:
Children collect so many memories in their growing up years, including memories of toxic fights at home, maltreatment, emotional abuse, child neglect and bullying, which they deal with brevity. All of it gets engraved in the subconscious mind in the form of memory.
This could be a reason why some children have that unsettling urge to be alone, and they find immense peace in it. Because they understand that the world is full of energies, and it’s hard not to get affected by it.
Hence, they turn inwards and focus on reinventing themselves in such a way, that they don’t have to depend on others.
The great physicist Albert Einstein said, “I like in solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”
3. Loners don’t like to Invest their time in baseless Negative information that People give for free:
Lone wolves don’t need much. They enjoy life without complaining or releasing negative energy by being surrounded by people.
Since people enjoy evaluating their lives, success, lifestyle and change of thoughts, and opinions with others. And most of the information exchanged in human conversation is based on gossiping.
Therefore, loners like to stay away because they don’t want to feed such irrelevant information to their brains.
Also, when you are alone you don’t want to harass yourself by entertaining negative thoughts. Which makes you think of the world as a toxic place to be in.
Since different people give different experiences to you, and when you are a simple grounded person. You don’t want that fakeness to rub on you.
Hence, distancing yourself from being a core member of the round table of critics is your step towards a happy and simple life.
4. Loners are low-key Empaths who don’t have time for Brain Drain because they know they are their Thoughts:
One of the biggest reasons for a loner to be a lone wolf is—they cannot struggle with the chaotic emotions of others and be sane at the same time.
Since loners hardly share their feelings with others and don’t like to express much. Therefore, the empath side of loners gets ignored easily.
The continuous shower of people’s emotions, the stories they share, and the energy they leave behind can be too much for a loner.
Therefore, loners like to stay aloof rather than having their brain drained. Because they know, they are their thoughts.
Always remember what Gautama Buddha said, “What you think you eventually become.”
5. Lone wolves understand that in a Judgemental society only a few can accept their raw Personality:
Loners are old souls they like simple things, simple people, and find happiness in the simplest things. They don’t need much or desire much.
When one stays around them, they don’t understand them. As they carry the innocence of a like a child. Because they have been too far away from society’s madness. But can be beastly when triggered.
Lone wolves carry the softness of a feather, and the hardiness of a cactus:
Loners can thrive well in extreme conditions. As they don’t complain much about their life, situations, and things that bother them.
Therefore, many think of them as arrogant, and unambitious, who don’t want to compete with others in the rat race of life.
When in reality they never think about, how society perceives them. Because they like to work in silence and let success make its noise.
6. Lone wolves have found their best Companion in Solitude:
Loners are deep thinkers. They like to keep their mind unoccupied by the excessive information, energy, and the emotions that people leave behind. Hence, they don’t make friends but lifelong companions, who they give their word to and are loyal to.
American essayist Henry David Thoreau beautifully quoted:
“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
They feel powerful alone, and less responsible for other’s misery and happiness:
A lone wolf is a one-man army. That person knows that he/she is in absolute control of his life. A lone wolf is always ready to rise above the storm.
They feel powerful when alone and own their failures just like they do for success. Lone wolves don’t like to put the blame on others or expect anything from others.
When they do interact with others its limited, it’s not regular. As they understand that ultimate satisfaction lies in being all by themselves.
Because then they are not responsible for someone’s happiness, misery, or sadness. And they don’t have to soak someone’s emotions, which eventually dries them from within.
When lone wolves help, heal those who they find genuine and trustworthy. They don’t like to be a crutch for someone but a helping hand as it doesn’t make you immobile.
Because lone wolves think that making somebody realise that they are weak is the biggest sin one can commit.
Don’t miss this: How to keep a Relationship on with a Loner
7. Loners are Self-dependant they don’t Believe in give and take relationships:
The far from socialising the better it feels, though lone wolves are polite, and caring but they don’t see friendships as others do.
They more or less see them as companions, who they cherish in the present moment, share their energy with, and bid adieu to them like a wave. Without wanting to hold them, and not being dependent on them for their happiness.
Since loners understand that its nobody’s responsibility to create happiness for them, and they are solely responsible for their own. They invest their time in their growth and in cherishing solitude.
Lone wolves know, one who has mastered the art of staying happily alone have mastered the art of living. Because they don’t know what loneliness is, as they have found their best companion in solitude.
Honesty tastes bitter when one is addicted to sugary lies:
Their rawness and honesty is often regarded as arrogance in this sugar-coated sparkly world. When someone tries to mingle with them. They know it’ll be a short-lived union until the person gets what he/she wants.
This is why lone wolves like to stay away from such give and take relationships/friendships. And make a pact with self-dependent individuals, who like to run their world on their own.
Where they don’t feel judged, and continuously think about, whether that person has misunderstood them, misquoted their words. Or have felt bad because you wanted to be alone than gallivanting at a party.
A must read: What Happens when Two Lone Wolves Fall in Love
8. A Lone wolf understands the Limitations of a human mind:
Lone wolves understand the tricks of their mind, and the role of thoughts in it. Hence, they are disciplined and organised, and don’t allow others to barge in.
Because they know we all have the same problems to deal with, such as troubled relationships, problems at home, unstable careers, financial crisis etc.
But the question arises, how much can we help someone? And how much that person takes our help is not in our hands.
Since people want someone who can listen to their grievances, but they do what they think is right. Lone wolves understand this. But sometimes it can be too disturbing for them to be a sobbing pillow for someone.
9. Lone wolves have a high Emotional quotient and the constant Energy of people can sometimes Disturb them:
Loners have a high emotional quotient that stays hidden, and the pendulum of feelings can stir their equilibrium of thoughts.
Sometimes the emotions of others can stay inside them for a long time. This makes them think, what they can do for that person.
But also recount the times, when helping someone made them a soaking pillow, who people use and discard. As they feel that person has no issues or problems in his/her life.
Imagine a sage who lives an isolated life in the woods, and meditates for years. Suddenly gets surrounded by people who keep complaining about their life. And talk about greed, promiscuity and other irrelevant information, that the sage has kept himself away from.
Their chaotic energy will disturb his mental peace, and the same can be said for loners. Therefore lone wolves distance themselves from people.
When a lone wolf makes a pack, it usually consists of other lone wolves, who mind their own business, and unite when they feel its necessary.
10. With less people around, the Road to self-discovery becomes Easy and enjoyable:
Loners understand that people work on their desires. They can be crude, selfish, and manipulative. Lone wolves don’t have time for this as they are already on a road to self-discovery.
Where there is little to no interference of people, and there is ample time to explore what lies within you, and what all is left unexplored by you.
It is like an awakening of one’s true self, and the potential of his mind. Since it gives you an opportunity to discover yourself.
American actress Amy Sedaris quoted:
“I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover, who they are, and to figure out why they are always alone.”
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Let thy spirit be high in love. Namaste