Life if taken as a blessing is a bag full of timeless wisdom and experiences. Sometimes it brings forth hurdles and the other time, it brings clouds of happiness to surprise us with a warm visit. To survive your lifeboat in the midst of the raging sea. You have to row it through the windstorms. So it tears the water to find its way to the shore.
Loneliness is one strict teacher, which teaches you to how to move your lifeboat in the middle of a turbulent sea, yet be in charge of it. One who has battled loneliness and isolation knows how to keep themselves afloat in thunder and storm. They know they are responsible for their happiness and the world doesn’t owe them anything.
If you want to know a few hard-hitting facts of life then read — 12 Hard Hitting Life Lessons Loneliness and Isolation is bound to teach You.
When loneliness engulfs you in its dark alleys, you’ll realise that nobody can ever make you happy. You alone are responsible for creating your own happiness. People, events, moments will fade away like the colours of the autumn leaves.
Your happiness shouldn’t rely on anybody and neither should you wish to remain happy always. Remember the lines of Franklin D. Roosevelt- “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”.
Building healthy relationships and connecting with like-minded people is good. But being mentally, emotionally or physically dependant on the other person is wrong. Since it puts you on the back seat. You give power to them to make the simplest decisions for you.
You constantly seek their approval and are hesitant to enforce your own ideas and decisions. This becomes more problematic when you rely on them for completing your tasks.
Because you know, they will help you out and if they don’t, then you feel helpless. It makes you think, that you are incapable of surviving in this world. And your mind coaxes you into believing, that you cannot function without that person.
We are born alone and we die alone. During our sojourn on earth, we form various connections. This creates an illusion that we aren’t alone. When in reality, we all are travelling solo.
At different stages in life, we will battle loneliness and the reasons will be different every time. It could be because of various reasons like the loss of a loved one, not being able to connect with people, being isolated or mistreated by your trusted pals.
When you finally understand that there is no saviour. It makes you ponder on the meaning of life and your ability to swim through madness and chaos.
The loopholes in the society are hard to neglect. Every individual we see is caught up in some kind of drama. They hardly have time for themselves, as they are too busy entertaining others. Running, chasing and taming others to make them stay forever, either voluntarily or involuntarily — by manipulating them.
When they leave, it disrupts their life by breaking the perfect picture, that they have created in their minds. Eventually, loneliness takes its toll, after which there is rebellious silence.
The one who has the zeal to survive even in the oddities of life finally thrives. It is then one learns how to transform loneliness into solitude.
Learn how to transform Loneliness into Solitude: How to achieve Solitude in a World full of Clamour
When one is isolated or neglected by someone, he learns that attachment hurts and is the root cause of all suffering. Many Eastern religions such as Buddhism, Jainism, and Taoism stresses on the implication of detachment or non-attachment.
According to Buddhist philosophy, by practising non-attachment one can get rid of his desires and can attain a heightened perspective.
When a person is attached to something, it causes continuous worrying which hinders his personal growth. Therefore, detaching yourself from your desires can help in leading a fulfilled life.
Humans are social animals and when they experience loneliness for a prolonged time, they tend to develop toxic emotions. Sometimes, these emotions become so strong that they start feeding on your self-esteem.
When one experiences such emotional trauma, he starts seeing himself as weak or inferior. And some even develop feelings of disgust and hate for others, as they feel unwanted or misunderstood. He stays in the same mental state until he realises that his mind has the power to annihilate all the disturbing thoughts, that troubles him from within.
When loneliness starts devouring the core, one finally understands that — “We become, what we give power to”.
Therefore, to vanquish negative emotions, one needs to go on a road to self-improvement, which is only possible by giving time to yourself.
If you ever feel like you are drowning in your own thoughts, remember that you aren’t alone. There are many others like you, who might have a different way of expressing their sadness. And some living creatures might be unaware of such loneliness, as they are only capable of feeling the pain.
Although, deep inside they know how loneliness feels like but for humans “loneliness” is a word, a feeling that we have given name and meaning to. Hence the trouble.
“Sometimes, when I’m alone, I wonder if it really counts as being alone, since I am covered in millions of other living organisms”.
When loneliness takes over your conscience, you know that holding onto people and relationships, that are dangling by a fragile thread can be a risky affair. Especially when you are willing to cross oceans for them and they can’t even jump puddles for you.
This shatters your faith in people. Because you cannot make someone realise — how much they mean to you when they are willing to replace you anytime.
When you contemplate the entire situation, you finally understand that being self-reliant is the only way out. This could mean losing friends and forgiving foes, whom you gave a significant amount of attention, that only wasted your time and energy.
Lonely souls know that forced conversations and meetings can never offer them a sense of fulfilment. As they are looking for something deeper and meaningful, which gives a purpose to their life.
Such connections are sometimes formed overtime and other times they come as a surprise when you aren’t asking for it. And it seldom happens that, when one learns to stay alone they are blessed with someone, who truly completes them.
Loneliness makes you toil and it boils your blood, it enrages you, makes you feel helpless. In this destitute of time, one is left with no other option but to re-wire his mind. Since happiness is a state of mind, which can be achieved by changing the stimulus.
The lonely hours spent in the prison of thoughts forces you to turn inward, to know yourself better. So you can help yourself because nobody has the power to free you from your own thoughts.
When you successfully do so, you’ll find yourself walking on a solitary road, and nothing will ever bring more joy to you than realising — that you have the strength to carry on alone and yet be happy.
Give yourself time. Swim in the sea of loneliness and let it hit you with life lessons. Once you have allowed the waves of loneliness to hit you and submerge you in its deep waters, you’ll rise up and emerge as stronger. Knowing that there is nobody to save you from drowning into the deep waters, you will think of all the ways to save yourself.
Eventually you’ll be grateful for the kind of experience you’ve had, which has taught you a million lessons. Trivial issues of life won’t bother you anymore, neither you’ll think of taking negative steps because you know your existence on this earth is nothing more than a miracle.
There were certain factors which could have hindered your existence like your parents couldn’t have met. Beating all the oddities, your birth on this earth was successful through a chain of actions. Hence, you must be thankful to have been bestowed with a life that’s worth struggling for because great things always take time and efforts.
“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people”. –Thich Nhat Hanh
Loneliness challenges the mind to find the answers to the questions, that you never saw coming before. It slaps you with reality and persuades you to teach yourself, learn and un-learn things, that you’ve been fed by society.
If you’ll wait for a master to arrive in your life and teach you how to live, then sadly you’ll have to wait forever. And the wait will never be over.
Hence, becoming your own Guru will lead you on a spiritual quest to find the meaning of life. It is then you can construct your own reality by sieving the truth from the illusion.
Let thy spirit be high in love. Namaste