Having siblings is awesome until you become the middle child, because you get pushed into situations, and there’s no way out.
When you are the youngest kid in the family, you get insane amount of attention from everybody, and wish that you had a little brother or sister to play, and shower your love on.
However, once this wish gets fulfilled, and you become the middle child of the family the scene splits. You get deprived of the attention. While your beloved elder sibling gets a new living toy to play with, and parents start teasing you that, now you have to share your toys with the younger one.
The interaction you earlier had with your family shrinks down to nothing, as the curse of the middle child follows. And who else would know it better than the survivors of the middle child syndrome.
Alfred specialised in inferiority complex and introduced the theory that birth order influences personality. He believed that birth order can play a significant role in people’s lives, as it can influence their methods of coping with stress and decision making.
Theoretically speaking middle children feel left out, neglected and resentful as they don’t receive the same privileges as the elder sibling and care like the youngest.
He also believed that birth order had a lasting impact on an individual’s methods of coping with stress and problem solving skills in adulthood.
Our biggest strength: We’re the peacemakers.
According to experts middle children have innate ability to take over big issues. “What few people realize is that middle children are actually more likely to successfully effect change in the world than any other birth order,” Salmon told New York Magazine. “As is so often the case with middles, they’re perennially underestimated.”
So here’s one for all the middle children who had similar ups and downs in life, which made you wonder, “Am I adopted or what!!!”
Growing up you must have felt, “Hey! Do I use the magic growing portion of Alice in Wonderland on me?” Because your parents keep telling you, you are either too old or too young for everything.
It’s always the middle child that has to beg their parents to go anywhere even if it’s your best friend’s house next door, or to a birthday party, and get the same reply every time — “No! you are too young for it.” While other siblings can go to fairs, sit on the Ferris wheel, and fun a gala time with friends.
But when it comes to sibling fights you suddenly become too old for it, and get schooled for not behaving like your age. Don’t know what kind of sorcery it is?
Whenever your mother deep cleans her wardrobe, and take out old photo albums and scrapbooks, so you all can savour the old memories. You don’t find any exclusive pictures from your birthday like your other siblings, and don’t even remember celebrating one when you were little.
Which gave your siblings the perfect reason to be catty, and they teased you by saying, “You aren’t our real sister we found you in the dumpster and adopted you.”
If you are a middle child then you must have asked your mum about this. To which she must have replied— “No! we celebrated your birthday we just don’t have the pictures, or your grandpa took it, and the worse they got lost.”
Being a middle child instantly makes you responsible for saving your parent’s money. Why? Because all your elder sibling’s clothes were handed to you, and new toys Nah! They were reserved for the little one, who mostly is the apple of the eye of everybody.
You are a middle child if you have rocked your sibling’s old school uniform and tailored it according to your fit, have used your sibling’s old blazers, and outfits she got bored of.
Not to forget some tattered shoes that you were pushed to wear. Because your mum wanted you to have the elder ones.
Since the middle child learns to adjust at a young age. They keep quiet even when they need something, like wearing a dusty-crusty blazer to school, which you often felt bad about. But wore it regardless and was shocked to find other siblings donning a new pair when theirs were in perfect shape.
How can we forget using old books of elder siblings, that your parents were adamant about making you re-use by erasing the old work done by your brother or sister.
Well, I was that one kid in school who used to seek special permission from my teacher to reuse my sister’s old books, and felt weird about it. Because our faculty used to press us to buy brand new books from the book store, they had tied a deal with.
My mother wasn’t ready to buy their scheme, and I started using my elder sister’s old books. The perk of which was I got all the exercises pre-done on my book, and learned how to reuse, and repurpose things at a young age.
Growing up you felt unheard or invisible since your parents weren’t much zealous about you. They were either busy with the studies of the elder sibling, or were gushing about the cute naughty acts of the little one.
The worse thing is our suggestions were never welcomed. As all family members gave the veto power to the elder sibling, and had this thought stuck in their mind that, “the elder knows the best.” Sheh!
Your parents were enthralled by what career and college they are going to choose for the elder sibling, and god forbid if the elder one says no to it.
Then their repressed emotions and anger is burst on the middle child, which they do either by forcing you to take the career of their choice. Or by completely ignoring you, and being unsupportive of your decisions, and giving an eye roll on your life literally.
This is a weird one and true for all those middle kids who understood parents can be partial at times.
All the treats, munchables, and yummy cookies your mother made or brought from the store were a real deal between you and your siblings.
Keeping a watchful eye on your treats wasn’t enough as your mum was always invited fight by giving an extra cookie to the other siblings. Or asked them whether they had the dish she prepared, and reserved a few extra brownies for the little one.
While you were never asked but always blamed for not sharing your munchies, or eating more than your appetite. Huh!
As the elder sibling got in college they got a brand new phone as a school supply, and the younger one got toys, as gifts. While the middle child was left out, and had to get their wishes fulfilled with their own money.
Which made us frugal with money, as we know the value of it. Shout out to all the middle children who have made peace with little things that disturbed them when they were young.
Every time you told your mum to resolve the fight with your siblings, you always get to hear, “Don’t fight with your younger sister that’s why she doesn’t like you.”
If it’s with your elder sibling, then it’s like a party in hell, “Behave yourself and respect your elder brother. Have you seen other kids behaving like this with their elder siblings?” If you haven’t heard this infamous repetitive dialogue from your parents, then you’ve survived the curse of the middle child.
Amidst all this hullabaloo, your siblings make a poker face, and stand like victims seeking justice with blood boiling in their eyes, while you are being whipped. If their thoughts could whisper they would say, “Yayyy!”
Don’t matter if it’s your fault or not, but the middle child always gets blamed by their parents for doing nothing.
If you are a middle child you’d agree that our parents don’t take too much interest in our personal life. Therefore, you easily get to sneak out of certain situations, like opting for your favourite subject stream, and skipping the topic of marriage.
As they have high expectations with the elder one in terms of future and marriage. Hence, they keep pressuring the older one to start a new chapter in life, and feel stressed out if they don’t marry them off with a suitable person.
While you are there chilling in peace, and not getting anxious to tie the knot and start a family, when you are literally babysitting yourself.
If you are a middle child you must have felt alone while growing up. Since the elder one exercised their powers of being the eldest and the smartest amongst all. Parents expect you to listen to the elder one, and the power of how much to communicate with other siblings get handed over to them.
Other siblings treat them like a Queen Bee, and it is often seen that the elder one spoils the younger one. While the middle one gets hated for trying to be the mum, and expects both of them to include them in their play.
If you haven’t experienced being left out while the other siblings were rolling over each other, not caring you are there too, then you are probably a middle child. If not, then your parents did a good job in keeping the family intact.
Parents who have middle children often underestimate them and don’t accept their individuality. They always feel the middle child should behave like the elder sibling.
Since you are the middle one, your parents don’t spare your childhood. They want you to be as mature as the elder sibling, and dislike when you act like your age.
If you said something offensive which you had no idea about it, or cracked a joke, then your parents weren’t having any of that. While they would cheekily cover the younger one’s mistakes and outrageous behaviour.
The expectations from a middle child is always too high. As parents continuously judge them, and forget they are behaving like any other kid of their age. If your likes, dislikes, and interest are different than your elder sibling then its a nightmare.
Since parents keep telling relatives and friends, how you are different from others. Or make comments like— He isn’t as smart as the elder one, is too much into fashion and music, doesn’t care about his future, even when the latter is doing well in studies.”
If a little noise comes from your room, and your mum is busy washing the dishes, she will blame the middle child because you are a safe target.
According to their theory the elder one is never wrong, and the younger one can’t be blamed. I don’t know how other middle children grew up, the above scenario is true in my case.
On a serious note, some parents can be a real terror. They keep lowering the self-esteem of their kids, and if one of their children exposes their toxic parenting to them. They put you on their hit list, and whenever someone talks about bratty kids they instantly put you there.
Because you expose their partial behaviour towards you, and this little criticism makes you the bad one, which makes you a trouble maker and the black sheep of the family.
If you are a middle child you would know how your parents were always over-excited during your elder sibling’s graduation or their investiture’s ceremony.
They attended all the programmes and were always on time. And equally rejoiced to pick and drop your younger sibling home.
But didn’t remember picking you up from school when it was over, and left you there waiting for hours. While you are controlling the tears to burst from your eyes. As all the kids have left, and you are sitting there alone, thinking whether mum will come to take me or not.
When you are a child you always fear what if I got lost, and never make alive to home, and experiencing it is scary. Hence, middle children realize at a young age, that they have to grab their parent’s attention in creative ways.
Sometimes we do mess it up, and get whacked by our parents. But soon learn that we have to be creative for getting our parents attention by doing things that surprise them in a good way.
Like being independent, and taking up your creative endeavours, participating in activities or winning competitions be it poetry or dance, or debate. So you can make them feel proud, and see them beaming with smile and rooting for you, which is one of the best feelings ever.
With the disadvantages of being a middle child comes the advantages too. One of the biggest advantages is since you get the least amount of attention from your parents, you can pave your own way.
You become aware there are possibilities in every situation, and have gratitude for the smallest things you have in life. You starting learning from your parent’s mistakes, and know what you need to do to raise confident, and happy children, acing parenting check!
You become emotionally independent at young, and are free to make career choices, or take risks as your parents aren’t much involved in your life. You learn how to make things work without much support from anyone. In short, you become a free bird.
You can get a deeper knowledge about Middle Child Syndrome by watching below video:
Let thy spirit be high in love. Namaste