How to be Alone and Happy
We all have heard the phrase, that man is a social animal and indeed it is true. As man has been living in groups and societies for thousands of years and has acquired knowledge about different things by exchanging information with each other.
It won’t be wrong to say that man has benefitted from this social structure. He leant how to make tools, to light a fire, to cook, to speak and write as well. Because social interaction accelerates the flow of knowledge. However, our modern society is becoming less social and more virtual than before. There are many reasons behind it, some of which include:
- The advent of social media,
- Busy and hectic 9 to 6 jobs,
- Nuclear family structure,
- Materialistic lifestyle
- Paying less emphasis on building relationships.
Whatever the reasons may be one thing is evident, that people of our generation feel more lonely than the earlier generations. From young children to adults, everybody complains about loneliness, they experience even when they are connected to their loved ones on social media.
As deep down they understand that relationships and bond build in the virtual world is only a simulation of the real world.
Therefore, it cannot offer the same fulfilling experience as you get in real life. Hence, most people of our generation feel terribly alone as we no longer emphasize on building meaningful relationships.
Which draws our attention towards the fact, when we know loneliness is our old friend, then, Why don’t we develop ways to make peace with it? Because it’s impossible to be alive and never experience loneliness in life.
So instead of losing your mind and your “self” over fighting with loneliness and hating being alone. Let’s learn some ways to embrace it like an old friend.
Hereby, remembering the words of the great Albert Einstein let’s train ourselves to develop the strength of being staying strong in difficult times.
“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity” – Albert Einstein
How to be Alone and Happy
1. Practise the ‘Vow of Silence‘:
Practice silence by fasting, which involves not speaking to anybody for days. This process is known as ‘Maun Vrat’ in Hinduism. Where being silent symbolises that the person is trying to disconnect from the world outside, that is saturated with speech.
“Being alone has a power that very few people can handle.” – Steven Aitchison
The Time-tested Benefits of Practising the Vow of Silence:
Old Hindu saints and ascetics have been practising the ‘vow of silence’ since ages. As it enables self-talk, helps in introspection, fosters creativity and brings inner-peace.
If a person who is troubled, practises the vow of silence. He will conserve his energy which will allow him to examine his own thoughts and feelings. By doing so, he’ll be able to get the answers to his problems.
Since by being silent, he can connect to himself, which will further help him to introspect and to contemplate on the situation.
Another added benefits of being silent are that, it can drive out the negativity from your mind, which will help you to balance your thoughts. Thence, you’ll be able to take independent and strong decisions. As you have build a rapport with your mind and are trusting your intuitions.
2. Become Friends with Your Soul:
Many of us have this habit of being surrounded by people even when we don’t require it. The con of it is that when you are constantly surrounded by people, you start craving the company of others. Because you feel happy with them and derive a sense of pleasure from their energy.
Whereas, your own company feels like a punishment to you and you look out for ways to avoid your own company. Because you haven’t developed the habit of being all by yourself and trying to cherish your own presence. That’s why the very thought of it makes you feel scared to the bone.
“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” ― Mandy Hale
So start spending time with yourself and try to connect to your real self. So that when you are alone, you don’t feel haunted by your own presence. Because when you’ll become friends with your soul, you’ll learn about the great power of solitude.
Especially, at the time, when you are feeling down in the dumps and have nobody around. Only then you will realise the great power of being alone which you have mastered by practicing it.
3. Keep yourself Occupied with Work:
If you want to spend time alone without feeling lonely, you must keep yourself occupied with productive work. Though it may sound boring but it will help you to kick out loneliness and boredom.
Keeping yourself busy, will help you to develop a winner’s attitude and you will stop whining about the lack of time to work on your dreams. With this positive mind-set you’ll start working on yourself. By doing so, you will learn and acquire skills that are necessary for survival.
When you will learn new things you will be happy and contented with yourself. Then you will be fully assured that come what may, I will be able to face it, as I have polished myself.
4. Develop a Positive Mind-set:
Although it sounds cliché but developing a positive mind-set should be the topmost priority of every human being. If you want to be alone and happy, you must learn— How to live without crying for other’s support. For your own well being, you have to stop overthinking about— What others think about you and how they feel about you. Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.
Expect less from Others:
Sometimes we tend to compare ourselves and our life goals with others. Due to which many of us feel, that we are lagging behind in life. When such negative thoughts and feelings dominate our mind, it causes great havoc in our life. Since, the way we perceive things influences us to take good or bad decisions. Therefore, to be happy and alone, you need to have a positive mind-set. Which is only possible if we start working on our self.
Also Read: 110 Best Darkness Quotes that’ll Guide you towards the Light
We tend to Spend so much Time in our Heads that we Forget to see the endless Opportunities that are Ahead:
The biggest things to realise in order to be happy and alone is to be satisfied in your own skin and accept yourself as you are. You need to realise that if you like being alone, you don’t have to feel bad about it. Because many others around you will fail to see the joy and happiness that solitude brings with it.
So stop overthinking because there are only a few people, who possess the quality of transforming their alone time into solitude. Use the gift of solitude carefully, because it’s an ideal state, where your mind can be productive and functional enough to be able to think of creative and original ideas.
5. You are Not the Half of Anybody, so don’t Underestimate yourself:
Once I read a romantic quote which glorified relationships in a toxic positive message. The quote read~ “You are only the half and your other half is waiting for you to fill your life with innumerable joys. So go and find your other half.”
Reading such quotes can make you happy for a little while, but when you give more thought to such quotes. It gives off the feeling of being terribly alone in this world, devoid of love and relationship. Which makes you compare your life with others and you feel like, you haven’t attained as many milestones as others.
How the Fear of Being alone Disrupts your Life:
This sudden realisation makes you feel bad, and you start believing that you are incapable of being loved. This fear of being alone for the rest of your life and missing onto something. Like having a successful relationship pesters you to involve yourself in half-hearted meaningless relationships. That does more harm than good.
Since, society gives us a lot of pressure to be in a relationship. Sometimes, by advising us that it’s the ripe time or by reminding us, that you are getting old, you must settle down in life.
So when you try to follow the same loop, especially at the time when you are discontented with yourself. As you’ve underestimated yourself and have little to no faith in yourself. Therefore, you end up in toxic relationships. Because you give into the idea that you are not complete all by yourself, and are desperately in need of someone’s support.
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”
Relationships can be a bed of roses or thorns only, if you try to look at the signs. So, before loving anybody, love yourself because when you are contented with yourself.
Only then, you’ll be capable of loving others. And when you know your self-worth, you don’t settle for any less than a quality person for a relationship. Until then love your own company, doing things that you are passionate about. Which only comes from the power of being alone.
Also Read: Best 100 Life is Short Quotes that’ll Remind you to Enjoy every Bit of Life
6. Be like Water, if you want to Learn how to stay Strong in Difficult times:
As Bruce Lee said in his interview, be like water, his words still echo in my ears, when I feel low and dejected. Because it reminds me that whenever life will try to push you down into your shell, and will knock your head onto the ground. Don’t ever be scared that, I won’t be able to get back on my feet again.
So whenever you feel alone, sad, depressed or dejected because things are not going well at your end. Try to recall all those times when you felt the same. But you still woke up the next day to fight back with your demons and you did it really well.
Now ask yourself, “Am I not capable of fighting back again?” The answer will always be “Yes! You are capable enough.” Because your subconscious mind knows how much you have gone through in life.
You are Strong and Never let Situations break you Down:
So start believing in your inner strength, and go read that quote by Bruce Lee. It’s a great speech by the great artist Bruce Lee, who says it with a lot of energy bubbling from his eyes and his body.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”
Lee was inspired by the teachings and ideas that have been mentioned in Tai Chi. The speech suggests that continue to move ahead in life be flexible and agile like the water, that flows through the valley and through the mighty Himalayas. And it crosses with great superfluity and pushes the boulders that come along its way.
From water, you must learn how to face difficult situations in adversities, that come across your life with maturity, patience and a calm mind.
So Be like Water and keep Flowing:
Train yourself to grow alone. Only then you will be capable of dealing with situations. Because not every time people will help you or they will be there to pick you up, and make you stand on your own two-feet and face the world.
This my friend is the power of being alone. Because nobody wishes to be alone, but sometimes in life— There are situations where you have to be alone. So when that situation arises, don’t feel weak and prepare yourself for the tomorrow. I wish such tomorrow may never come into your life but when life will demand you should command.
Let thy spirit be high in love, Namaste!
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