How to Stop being too Hard on Yourself
One thing I have realized over the years is that no matter what I do in my life, how much I achieve, I’ll still have in me, the feeling of discontentment to some extent.
Perhaps, this is the reason why I feel, it would have been better this way or that. Which makes me bone-weary of thinking about every wrong move that I took in life. That has levied on my back like a bag full of regrets. That’s why now, I have realized why we should stop being too hard on ourselves.
Looking back at the teenage years, I remember myself as a young girl, who was happy in her own skin.
I was the kind of person who, when looking at her refection in the mirror would feel proud and genuinely happy as I believed- “I was the best version of myself.” I thought I was “oddly unique.”
And I believe most of us, have had the same feeling while growing up. Since we weren’t given any labels and nor bashed for being where our well-wishers thought we would be.
However with time, the negative thoughts started taking over my mind. The more I interacted with the world, the more allienated I would feel.
Since I couldn’t connect myself to the things that were in vogue and also the ideology, lifestyle and the kind of conditioning others have gone through.
People amused me in an unpleasant way, that made me believe, there is something wrong with me.
Because I was never into things that most of my peers liked like— Going out, making new friends, socializing, being on social media sharing your life and boasting about your personal qualities.
I kept a lot to myself, my problems and insecurities. When the dam of my patience got swelled and broke down, I consoled myself that the tough time will pass. It is just a phase as nothing lasts forever.
So don’t take everything too seriously and try to have unrealistic goals. If you do, then here are some of the tips, that will help you to stop being too hard on yourself.
Here are 11 Practical ways How to Stop being too hard on Yourself:
1. Remember You are Your only Savior:
So whenever you feel a little depressed and alone recall every fight, that you have faced alone and try to make peace with yourself.
Sometimes it’s hard to let go of all the baggage, that you have held in your heart for years. But in order to become a better person you need to let go of the hate and focus on things, that give you immense happiness.
If you don’t like something just let it go, even if it means cutting off friends, not being a part of what others call as fun, taking a break from your hectic schedule, leaving a job, person, or profession.
Do what you like, there is no need to impress others as they will never walk in your shoes. So take your time and answer your call and learn how to stop being too hard on yourself.
Also Read: How to be Alone and Happy
2. Rejoice Small Victories:
Nobody can master the art of controlling their minds, you’ll be constantly hit with thoughts that would make you go mad.
So stop being so hard on yourself and rejoice on your small victories. Pat your back once in a while for having the courage to make it through the day without giving up.
Celebrate your uniqueness and feel proud for being “unapologetically yourself”. This is how you learn how to stop being too hard on yourself.
You are never alone when you truly love yourself so rise and shine my love.
3. Repeat to Yourself that I am doing Better and Shut down the Negative Voice:
I know it’s easier said than done and even though, I am writing this piece but I am someone, who keeps getting threatened by external and internal voice, which deeply scar my self esteem. To the point, that I feel like why am I such a loser?
I know many of you feel so. Such feelings can creep up to your mind and devour your peace like a famished devil in search of a new prey.
However, with the passing time. I have realised the kind of thoughts and emotions I wake up to everyday are only making me weak by deteriorating my mental agility.
Having such a negative mindset makes me feel okay with having a loser mentality. Since even I have accepted defeat and have kneeled down in front of all the negative voices, that keep hollering at me with the negative commentary.
It not only increases anxiety but eats my time. Makes me feel exhausted even before I set off to work. Further causing mental and emotional damage as I am carrying emotional baggage.
So from time to time, I keep assuring myself that you are doing your best. You are halfway there, you can still learn all the things you feel conscious about. No you aren’t running out of time. You have improved a lot in many areas and you are going strong. You can level up. This is one of the best ways how to stop being too hard on yourself.
So let’s pledge that we will stop being so hard on ourselves.
Also Read: 43 Comforting Depression Quotes that You can Relate to
4. We all are Here for a Bigger experience which is Life, so be Thankful for this Journey:
Instead of focussing on the nitty-gritty things in life and making ourselves feel bad due to it. We should rather look at the bigger picture, that is life.
If we change our mind set from pessimistic to optimistic. Then only we can live life and enjoy having this one big experience.
Since, we all know that happiness and sadness will always go together.
So instead of staying in the negative space and making yourself feel worse about, all the things that never worked in your favour. Rather you should acknowledge the fact, that you are capable of having this enriching experience of life, which is a miracle in itself.
5. Learn how to Efficiently manage your Time, so You can have a Better Tomorrow:
Constantly worrying about things, that are not in your control will not make your life any better. Instead, stay in the present, try to utilise your time by doing things that are productive. As it will help you to make your future better.
Have you realized, how much time we spend on procrastinating? and constantly panicking about what will happen in the near future.
If you have. Then you must be well aware of the fact, that we spend a lot of time on over thinking, over analysing and criticizing ourselves for things, that are not in a control.
Although, we all know that earning bread and butter is important for us because we have a family to feed. Also, we have our own needs to fulfill for which we need to work. But don’t be so hard on yourself for not reaching up the ladder quickly.
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Because if you are not making the correct move and are busy blaming yourself for every little setback in life. Then it will only crush your spirit. But will never allow you to reach, where you are destined to be.
So if we learn how to manage our time and use our time in doing productive things. We will not only make best use of our time. But will also become efficient in our work.
We will be more disciplined and will have a good work life balance. Which will help us to spend quality time with our family members. This is one of the best ways how to stop being too hard on yourself.
6. Count your Blessings:
It is very important to count our blessings and learn how to be grateful for everything.
When we are thankful for what we have, we fill our heart with the positive energy and it makes our life wonderful.
On the contrary, when we are constantly busy in nit-picking the bad things in our life. We attract more negativity in our life. Eventually our mind becomes a standing pool of negative thoughts. Thus, we feel that our life is not going anywhere.
Even the law of attraction states, that when you count your blessings. You attract good things in your life. As you are sending positive vibes to the universe and the universe reciprotes by rewarding you with abundant joys.
The science behind it is that, when you are grateful for the people, you have in your life. And for the job that you have and even for the little things, that you see around yourself in nature.
You learn how to open your heart and give out the positivity to the universe. So next time when you are being too hard on yourself. Pause and remind yourself how blessed you are.
So be thankful, that you have been born on this planet to relish this magical experience. Greatness is not achieved in a day but we must always be hopeful. Only then we will be able to transform our life into the way we want.
So start your morning with counting your blessings. You can write it on a piece of paper, type it on a computer or make a journal.
You can simply start with writing a heartfelt thanking note for having the basic needs fulfilled life like food, shelter and clothing.
Start writing about the people who make your life easy. State the things that you have learnt recently, skills acquired and the things you like about yourself. This is how you learn how to stop being too hard on yourself.
Also Read: 40 Best Quotes for Loners to Unleash the Lone Wolf Within
7. Balm your Broken heart with Positive Affirmations:
We all know the importance of having a positive mindset which helps us in living a fulfilling life. But we still ignore it and sabotage our mental health by sending negative messages to our brain. Thereby, creating havoc in our headspace.
Learn how to stop being too hard on yourself by sending positive affirmations to your mind. In the form of positive messages, which will do wonders on your mental health.
If you will inculcate this habit, then your body will also function well. You will feel good and contented with yourself.
It will not only uplift your mood but will also rejuvenate you. And you’ll be in a placid sate of mind.
If you are someone, who wakes up every morning with a very heavy head and are constantly thinking— whether your work is up to the mark and are always criticizing yourself.
Then it would be better, if you appreciate yourself for doing all your work on time, for being honest and giving your best.
So next time when you are being too hard on yourself reassure yourself, that you doing your best. And have come a long way in life.
Tell yourself that you are skilled and are becoming a better person. Appreciate yourself for learning ways to manage your anger and for giving up the bad qualities that you had in yourself. When you will see, that you have done so well and will appreciate yourself. It will have a positive impact on your mind, your mood and your life. This is one of the best ways how to stop being too hard on yourself.
8. Stop Responding to Negative People:
Negative people are like termites, they eat away your peace by shredding it into pieces.
The more you listen to their mindless chatter and negative commentary, the more stressors you’ll have in your life.
So when you already know, there’s no point in listening to them. As they don’t contribute in adding value to your life. Rather, they are a prominent source of your troubles, then just stop giving your reaction to them.
Avoid them and if you are in such a situation that you can’t ignore them. Because they are your family member or colleague then don’t believe what they say, work in silence and find ways to escape that narrowed cage. This is how you learn how to stop being too hard on yourself.
Also Read: 50 Quotes for Introverts that are as Comforting as Bonfire
9. Cut back on Social Media, Stop Consuming Negativity:
If you make it a habit of stop consuming negative information from various social media channels. It will eventually clear out the clutter from your mind.
Because the more we are hooked onto the social media channels, the more we compare and judge ourselves through the eyes of others.
We keep wishing for more and more. Which causes a sense of disalienation and disorientation. So for the sake of sanity stop consuming negativity from social media.
10. Reserve an Hour or Two for Leisure activities:
Devote some time to yourself by doing things that you enjoy doing. As it will revitalize you with vigor and energy.
It will elevate your mood, you’ll have a good sleep and it will also improve your mental health. Because when we keep ourselves busy in our favourite activities, it does wonders on our over all well being.
The reason behind it is, that we don’t waste time in negative thoughts rather we contribute in activities to make our life wonderful. This is one of the best ways how to stop being too hard on yourself.
11. Some run, some Crawl but they Both reach Somewhere in their Life:
Your progress might be slow in life due to various problems. But don’t give up and continue to walk or even crawl. By making baby steps one day you’ll definitely reach somewhere in life.
So stop being too hard on yourself, make your move. No matter if you run or crawl, you will definitely reach somewhere in life. This is how you learn how to stop being too hard on yourself.
Let thy spirit be high in love, Namaste!
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